The Characteristics of a Godly Woman (Part One)
A deep dive into Titus 2:4-5
This post was requested by one of my followers on Twitter. She asked if I could go through Titus 2 and what it means to be a godly woman. For ease of reading, this article is broken up into 2 parts. Part 2 will be uploaded next week so be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss it!
Introduction
There are many characteristics that make up a godly wife but for our purposes, we’ll be breaking down Titus 2:4-5 and going through each point.
“...that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, kind, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
Sober
There’s more to being sober than just abstaining from or limiting your intake of alcohol. To be one of a sober mind means to have high self-control, discipline and in some cases, discernment. One simple example is how you interact with people online. It can be easy to get in all kinds of arguments online, but a woman of sober mind knows when it’s best not to reply. The same thing goes for real-life interactions.
When in a disagreement with a friend, you need to be able to decide if the disagreement is worth your friendship or not. Sometimes the wisest thing to do is simply “agree to disagree” and move onto a new topic. When it comes to standing on core truths, one must determine whether it’s best to engage in an argument, or to simply pray that the Lord will open their (or your) eyes to His Truth.
Being sober in regards to alcohol requires self-control and the ability to analyze your motives. It may not be common for wives and mothers to be raging alcoholics, but it is common for a woman to have a glass of wine every night because “She needs it to unwind” and “She wouldn’t be able to handle the chaos of the day otherwise”. As Christians, we shouldn’t be ruled by anything except God. If we become reliant on anything aside from God for mitigating daily stresses, it takes our focus away from Him and onto that thing. In context, if you “need” a glass of wine in order to escape the chaos of the day, perhaps consider putting away the glass and spending some time in God’s word and in prayer, asking Him to lend you His strength.
That said, I personally do not partake – that is mainly because I am allergic to alcohol – but I have witnessed in others that a glass of prosecco at the end of a long day can be joyfully imbibed to the glory of God.
Loving of their husbands
As godly wives, we strive to love our husbands. Part of loving our husbands requires doing things that may bring constant frustration to the average wife. Such as, picking up his socks off the floor. It’s been a trend in recent days for women to go online and complain about the mess their husbands make when they get ready in the morning. This isn’t loving for three reasons:
When a woman talks about her husband like this, she is publicly shaming him which is not only disrespectful, it can also be damaging to his reputation if friends from church or his work follow you online.
It misrepresents your husband, making him come across like an overgrown man-child.
It disregards the fact that his mind is probably focused on the work day ahead of him. Performing mundane tasks like picking up socks, with a cheerful heart, is one way we can love our husbands.
While it may be frustrating to have another thing added to your cleaning list. It’s not worth all the strife that complaining or publicly shaming your husband would bring into your home. In an effort to counter the disrespectful trend, I’ve seen a small handful of widows make posts about how their husbands passed away young and they would give anything to have him back and pick up his socks off the floor.
As wives, we need to be thinking through our actions and motives. Make sure you’re being as loving towards your husband as you can. Not only when he’s around, but when he’s not around as well. More on that under the “Discrete” title below. It may be hard, and no one does this flawlessly, but the more you try, the easier it gets.
Loving to their children
Some of the same principles of loving husbands can be applied to loving our children. If a child has a particular sin they lean towards (example: selfishness), don’t gossip about it to your mom friends. It’s okay to ask for help, especially from an older, more experienced mother, but it isn’t okay to go on a rant about your kid’s problems just for the sake of ranting.
Another way we can love our children is choosing to take the time to cook enriching, and healthy foods for them. They don’t need a 100% organic produce and an all grass fed meat diet, but they do need to have a healthy balance of protein and carbs. One of my toddlers tends to be picky when it comes to eating meat. He only likes ground beef by itself when it’s fresh off the stove. In order to get him to eat it the day after, I’ll add a bit of ketchup or cheese. I’ve also found that starting with protein and then moving onto fats and carbs ensures that he eats the healthy foods first. Typically, if he refuses to eat the protein, I’ll add fats (cheese stick) and from there, I’ll gently remind him that he has to eat his meat before getting the “fun” foods (carbs, usually a few chips).
This method of feeding is teaching him the importance of not being a picky eater. If I let him reject the food I give him and allow him to eat foods he picks, he would probably eat nothing but cereal, chips, and cheese. Sometimes as mothers, the best thing is telling them that being a picky eater is not allowed.
I know that the subject of childhood nutrition is kind of niche, but it’s a big part of my daily work as a mom to toddlers. As my children grow, I am sure that the Lord will have many more, and sometimes more complicated, lessons for me to learn about loving my children.
The last way I’ll discuss loving our children is education. As Christians, it’s important that we strive our best to give our children a Christian education. Personally, I believe that all Christian families should make the sacrifice to homeschool or put them in a Christian private school. However, I know that’s not an option for everyone, due to this current economy practically demanding dual income households. If your case is the latter, pray constantly that The Lord will make a way for you to be home to teach your children. You also need to make sure you’re teaching your children about Christ, anytime they’re home. Sunday mornings aren’t enough when it comes to fighting the Godless teachings of the government school system.
Having children is a blessing, but it’s also loads of hard work and sacrifice. Part of loving children is years of day (and night) long sacrifices. The best advice I can offer for the little stresses of the days and nights is to pray. Pray for the Lord to lend you His strength so you can serve your children well. At the end of each day, thank God for the successes He gave you that day, and pray that He would cover the day’s failings with His grace.
Discrete
As mentioned above, we need to be careful about the way we speak about our spouse, and others. If someone confides in us and opens up, we need to respect that trust by not going around and spreading the news to others. The only exception to this rule would be if someone is in immediate, physical danger.
It generally goes without saying, but I’ll add this as a disclaimer: if a friend confides in you that her husband is physically abusive, or if she admits to being physically abusive towards her husband or others, it’s your duty before God to make sure that the couple’s pastor (and/or the authorities, depending on the situation) is aware of what’s going on. Discretion doesn’t mandate hiding sin, or allowing others to continue being in a dangerous situation.
As confidants, we need to make sure that we’re being emotionally discrete in the advice we give. This also goes without saying, but we need to be vigilant in guarding against the tendency to gossip. When giving advice, we need to make sure that advice is rooted in scripture and not our emotions. If we are the ones seeking advice from a friend or even our elders, we need to be sure that we’re only sharing what’s actually necessary for the other party to give us advice.
Another aspect of discretion is the way we dress. We need to make sure we aren’t revealing anything that is supposed to be reserved for our husbands. A lot of modern fashion is included in this category. They may technically cover the skin, but by design, they not only tightly cling and reveal curvature, but the stitching also highlights features that are best covered with a dress or skirt. I’ll speak more on modesty in a future article that’s set to release in the next few weeks.
This brings us to the end of part 1 of this series. Please know that I am a young wife and mom myself. I’m only in my mid 20s and I know that I still have a lot to learn. The Lord is gracious to me and is teaching me at the pace He knows I need. Knowing that I am young and still have much to learn myself, I hope that this post has been of some help to you as we all work at growing in love and wisdom. Stay tuned next when part 2 will be posted.
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