The Characteristics of a Godly Woman (Part Two)

Continuing last week's deep-dive into Titus 2

Hello friends! I hope y’all had a great week. Today, we’re back for part 2 of my Godly Woman series. If you’re new to my Substack, I recommend reading part 1 here so you’re fully caught up. As a reminder, I’ll paste our reference verse below.

“...that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, kind, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

–Titus 2:4-5

Chaste

To be chaste means, of course, to be pure, morally clean and innocent. The obvious application of this for a wife is not to engage in any romantic fashion with someone who isn’t your spouse.

The not-so-obvious application would be something like the media we engage in. The books we read, movies we watch, even the music we listen to all need to be analyzed in this light. It’s okay to be entertained by a show that isn’t specifically made for Christians and by Christians, as long as the content of the show doesn’t cross any lines into glorifying sexual depravity. Ultimately, our allegiance is to God and His Word, not celebrities. People like Taylor Swift are often defended by “Christian” influencers because the influencer has a misplaced attachment to the nostalgia of her music, rather than the Truth of God’s Word. Reject the bad, hold onto the good, true and the beautiful.

It’s often said that we consume media. I think it’s important to phrase it that way. We are all well aware of the truth behind the maxim that “you are what you eat” and the same could be said for the media we consume. What you allow into your heart and mind will affect who you are.

Keepers at home

Did you notice the distinction of this assignment? Keepers at home. Not keepers of the home, as is commonly assumed. I have a full length article on this topic coming out soon so for now, I’ll just say that as we need to make sure we’re doing everything in our power to be stay at home wives, or mothers. If your husband says he can make it work but it would mean giving up annual vacations, then that’s a sacrifice worth making. If you’re like me when we were newly married and couldn’t afford to live on one income, pray with all your might that the Lord would provide a way, and do your best to manage and maintain your home on your off days and hours.

Kind

This one is pretty self-explanatory so I’ll keep it brief. Honestly for this one, just remember the Golden Rule spelled out in Luke 6:31:

“And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”

It’s pretty easy to maintain a kind heart if we think first of others, and then ourselves.

Obedient to their own husbands

There are two roles in a marriage: Head (husband) and Helper (wife). These roles are not interchangeable and scripture holds specific instructions to each spouse. Ephesians 5:22-24 is a good place to look for the instructions God gives a wife as the Helper:

“ Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit everything to their husbands.”

There are two distinctions in this verse that we see. The first is that we’re to submit to our own husband. No one else, not even your pastor carries more authority over you than your husband.

The second is in verse 22: “submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”

This is a very important distinction to note. If our husband is using his authority to try and get us to sin, we don’t have to submit, and, in fact, we should not. Remember, our allegiance is to God first and foremost. The same thing goes for enabling sin. If you become aware of your husband engaging in a sinful pattern (such as drunkenness), it’s your duty as his wife to discuss this with your husband and, if necessary, to go and tell your elders so that they can come alongside him and help lead him to repentance.

Another aspect of the “as unto the Lord” clause is that we are to submit to our husbands as unto the Lord – just like how in Colossians 3:23 where we are admonished “Whatever you do, work heartily as unto the Lord, and not for men.” Most of us have had jobs or chores that we deeply disliked and in those cases we are to complete those tasks, not for words of praise from man, but rather we should accomplish those tasks for the glory of God and cheerfully, when possible.

There will be times when we don’t want to submit to a decision our husbands have made because we disagree. Assuming this is not a sin issue, and that we have shared our perspective with our husband, this is also a time in which we should acquiesce with a submissive and cheerful heart, knowing that our obedience honors God. At the same time, we should also pray that the Lord would give our husbands wisdom to make wise choices and that He would give us the wisdom to see when we’ve been wrong or when patience is required.

Whew, that was a lot. To wind things down…

After being told what the older women should be teaching the younger women (and in turn, how we as younger women should behave), the verse closes by saying “...that the word of God be not blasphemed.” I think it’s important to dig into this before I close out this article.

Blasphemy can be defined as “the act or offense of speaking sacrilegiously about God or sacred things; profane talk”. Tying it to the context of our original verse, Paul is making it clear that if an older woman chooses not to teach the 8 things discussed in Titus 2:4-5, she’s acting in a way that blasphemes the word of God through her disobedience and refusal. The same can be said if an older woman is teaching a younger woman to live in a way contrary to any of the 8 ways that God commands in this text.

This is one of the primary reasons why I (and others) believe that instead of women’s Bible studies focusing on theology a la carte, the church elders should be making sure that the teachers of the women’s Bible study are teaching what scripture commands them to teach in Titus 2. Or even better, that the elders are ensuring that older godly women are actively mentoring younger women in a manner that honors God.

In Closing

I want to re-iterate that I’m not an older woman. This post was written because a dear friend asked me to break down each point talked about here in Titus. I am, however, thankful for the older women that God has placed in my life who mentor me in the ways of biblical womanhood. When my kids are grown and gone, I hope to become a mentor to my future daughters, granddaughters, and younger women within my church. Until then, I’ll take to heart all of the advice and training I receive from the lovely ladies in my life.